I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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