I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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