your room smells of hookers.
And success
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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