i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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