Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
