No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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