Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
