your thong is hanging out like whoa
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
