I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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