the new term for farting is butt boxing.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize
