Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
