they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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