Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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