i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Randomize
