I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Randomize
