she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I intend to get homeless drunk
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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