Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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