I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
