haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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