Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
