I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
