i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
It's blow job season.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
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