He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
