Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
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So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
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He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize