i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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