I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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