she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
