R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
