Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
