I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
