guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
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