i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
