Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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