There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
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