I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
