Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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