There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
they're like a gay fantastic four
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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