I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
