All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
