How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
