i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
