He uses pillows to masturbate.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
