Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
