I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a burrito and a hug.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize