He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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