So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
