PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
