No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
