For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
