it was like his penis was on wheels.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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