I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
