I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
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It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
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Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
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