Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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