Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
