make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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