Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
