I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
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