I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Michael Bay diarrhea
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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