Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
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