dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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