you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
