Buhtt sex?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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