I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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