I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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