Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
